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Mars Venus on Gender Intelligent Communication

Monday, July 23rd, 2012

For anyone attending recent women’s business conferences or reading the latest articles devoted to the lack of women in the executive ranks, Mars Venus Coaching asks you to open your mind to the possibility of a quick, yet long-term fix to increase the status of women in the corporate world. There is an undercurrent of paranoia and frustration about why numbers are not equalizing among the sexes at the top of the leadership pyramid. These feelings of uneasiness are in response to being run ragged by constant low-grade stress. Whenever we ask people if they are familiar with the book Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus, there tends to be an instant lighting up of the eyes, and an intake of breath. This term coined by Dr. John Gray when he wrote his best-selling book of that title back in 1992 is now considered to be part of our society’s vernacular. Dr. John Gray has written many books relating to the Mars Venus dynamic (16 and counting). Instead of reading the research and literature, the following is a quick synopsis of why implementing this quick fix is imperative. It’s important not only for women to remain in and ascend the corporate ladder, but also to re-balance and give quality of life back to everyone in this fast-paced, high-tech world. The solution Mars Venus refers to is introducing gender intelligent communication into professional development training.

Our current expectations and assumption men and women are equal, and therefore must be treated the same is both an unrealistic expectation and an unexamined assumption. To address reality, the solution is to address the real issue, and that is the current state of men’s communication style being preferred, while disregarding how women communicate. The solution then is to teach how men and women communicate differently in workshops at work. Women are up against a brick wall when it comes to fitting into a culture that disregards their unique gender-based contributions of working and relating to others. The solution of teaching gender intelligent communication implements a culture shift at corporate to equally embrace and respect men and women’s unique gender contributions. Continuing to force women to assimilate to a male created work climate is unwise. Now we are armed with information regarding why and how it damages both our bodies (health and wellness wise) and our relationships (at work and at home).

The latest research shows how men and women’s interaction with stress is different in three ways. The first is how the chemicals in our brain respond differently to stress. The second way we’re different is we produce different stress-reducing hormones. Men reduce stress by producing testosterone, and women reduce stress by producing oxytocin. And the third is the way we reduce our stress. How we produce the stress-reducing hormone based on our gender, actually increases the other gender’s stress! The research is good to understand the why’s behind the way we behave, and more importantly why we communicate differently the way we do with one another; however, what is more germane to this discussion is the quickest way to balance men and women in the workplace. The easy answer is we do this through gender intelligent communication workshops.

The culture needs to change, and the quickest way is to train people in the ways men and women communicate differently. The first level of learning is awareness. The second level is putting it into practice. Previous solutions offered saved face. This “lip service” backfired with more misunderstanding and disgruntled employees. This solution does not promote women being promoted without hard work or merit. The companies which accept and respect women’s unique penchant for attention to detail while they incorporate everyone into the decision-making process at the same time as when they identify emotional consequences are the companies gaining recognition for success and increased quality of life for its employees and customers. This solution is not lip service, because it requires an immediate call to action to train people how to effectively communicate.

When the two different gender styles of communication are both given credit for their strengths and weaknesses, then the playing field is leveled, because our unique ways of relating to one another are understood, respected, and embraced. Changing the way we talk to one another, in essence, is the fundamental first step that has heretofore been missing. A culture shift occurs when we are able to open our hearts and minds to understand the other person’s way of communicating as being a slight variation in dialect. The modus operandi of male communication patterns or else is outdated. Running a balanced work world embracing both men and women’s unique contributions acknowledges everyone’s gifts. In turn this makes the workplace more productive and conducive to both new growth and change as the workforce assimilates cultural awareness. There will be equal numbers of men and women in and at the top in the corporate world once everyone is respected for their method of communicating. Lucky for us the by-product is lower stress levels for all. This goes a long way for our economic, health, and marriage crisis; which would be easier to handle if our relationships were open, honest, healthier, and a source of comfort both at work and at home.

Lyndsay Katauskas, MEd

Corporate Media Relations

Mars Venus Coaching

 

 

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One Easy Way To Reduce Workplace Stress And Enhance Productivity

Friday, July 13th, 2012

Victor Lipman, Contributor Forbes 6/5/12

It’s always pleasant (if rare) to find a management tactic that works well and is also easy and even fun. Over the course of my career – both as an employee and a manager – the best way I found to reduce stress and improve productivity was simple: to exercise at midday.

Everyone has his or her own biorhythms, but I found and observed energy and concentration often flagging toward midday. And also noted considerably renewed energy and productivity following a lunchtime workout.

These aren’t simply my own idiosyncratic observations. Numerous studies link exercise to mood elevation and productivity enhancement, as well as more collaborative and tolerant behavior. The benefits of exercise are copiously well documented; the trick is effectively integrating a regular exercise program into a conservative or restrictive work environment.

What form of exercise works best? My answer’s simple: Whatever you like and can easily do in or near the workplace. For me it was usually a 3-mile run. All I needed was a change of clothes and a shower. Many I managed liked weightlifting, walking, aerobics classes, yoga, Spinning and so on. (Personal aside: The only form of exercise that was clearly not for me was Spinning. First, it looks wicked hard. Second, I exercised at least partly to take a break from people barking at me, so the last thing I wanted while taking a break from people barking at me was other people barking at me.)

Here are six common reasons why people can’t or don’t exercise at work, and ways to easily overcome them.
I don’t have time. Sure you do. It may take you 15 minutes longer than a normal lunch hour (maybe even 30 if you have to go a little farther to get to a facility), so work 15 (or 30) minutes later. Chances are in those extra 15 minutes you’ll be more energized and productive than if you hadn’t exercised in the first place.
My boss won’t let me. Tell him or her (nicely) to get with the program. Note info above – data shows exercise enhances productivity, reduces stress, and improves collaboration. Ask for a chance to demonstrate the results, and be sure to over-deliver when providing them.

We don’t have a Fitness Center. It’s great if your company has one, but no knockout if you don’t. Sometimes all you need is a shower. Or you can go to a nearby gym or club. Often your company can get a corporate discount, a trade that helps both teams.
I won’t have time to eat lunch. Nonsense. Eat lunch at your desk while working following your workout. I did it productively for decades. I ate a cheese sandwich or a peanut butter sandwich (fortunately I have a limitless capacity for monk-like culinary boredom), plus an apple or an orange. The main criterion for my lunch was that it could be prepared literally within one minute – no kidding – at about 9 p.m. the night before.

My hair will be a mess. Don’t be too hard enough on yourself. I’m sure your hair actually looks a lot better than you think it does. Note to employees: Of course you’ll use common sense here – no triathlon workouts right before Board presentations. Note to managers: Offer (as appropriate to your environment) flexibility of casual dress and appearance. Your employees will appreciate you for it and likely reward you with loyalty and diligence.

My CEO doesn’t believe in exercise in the workplace. Hey, this is 2012. I’m as old school and dinosaurish as they come and I’ve been exercising at work since the 1970s. Note to CEOs: You’ll gain in employee engagement. You’ll gain in recruiting. You may gain in reduced absenteeism and health care costs (though that’s usually harder to document). Plus, dedicated exercisers/athletes tend to be highly disciplined individuals and fine employees. It’ll make your company a cooler happier place.

One final thought: The ability to exercise at work is a benefit and privilege, so you can’t abuse it – all expected work still has to get done. Otherwise, any straight-thinking manager will – and should – pull the plug quickly. But it shouldn’t come to that. Well-managed exercise programs improve the quality of worklife for employees and management alike. And that’s the bottom line. I’d write more, but I’ve got to go for a run.

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Eight Ways Goofing Off Can Make You More Productive

Thursday, June 21st, 2012

Susan Adams, Forbes Staff 6/18/2012

One of my colleagues used to head to the men’s room and brush his teeth every time he felt a surge of writer’s block. He swears it did the trick. Another exits the building and walks around the block to clear his head. I like to take advantage of the mid-day yoga sessions that Forbes offers in the gym on the ninth floor. When I return to my desk, my body is relaxed, my mind is clear, and I attack my work with new energy.

A growing body of research suggests that the longer you keep your rear end in your chair and your eyes glued to your screen, the less productive you may be. Getting up from your desk and moving not only heightens your powers of concentration, it enhances your health.

A story in Sunday’s New York Times quoted two sources who have studied productivity. John P. Trougakos, an assistant management professor at the University of Toronto Scarborough and the Rotman School of Management describes how concentrating on one task is like using one muscle for an extended period. The mind needs a break, to rest and recover before it can exert again. Among other things, Trougakos recommends that workers take serious lunch breaks, to recharge with food and a change of scene.

James A. Levine, a professor at the Mayo Clinic, agrees that we don’t take enough breaks. Sedentary work habits are as dangerous as a sedentary lifestyle at home. Levine likes the idea of your standing or even walking while you’re working, including during meetings. If you feel sleepy during the day, you should be allowed to take a nap, he says.

Levine suggests that you work in concentrated 15-minute periods, divided up by breaks. “The thought process is not designed to be continuous,” he tells the Times. He points out that efficient, productive work is much more valuable than long hours of wasted or partially productive time.

Then there is the power of daydreaming, described in science writer Jonah Lehrer’s new book, Imagine. Many of our most creative, productive thoughts come not while we’re trying to force them during long sessions at our desks, but at odd moments outside the office. For instance, Lehrer describes how Dan Wieden of advertising giant Wieden+Kennedy found the inspiration for the famous Nike “Just Do It” tag line late one evening, after reflecting on a conversation he had had with a colleague about the novelist Norman Mailer, who had written a book about convicted murderer Gary Gilmore. Gilmore’s last line before he was executed, “Let’s do it,” popped into Wieden’s head. Back at his desk, Wieden tweaked the phrase. But the idea had come in his off hours.

Many of us feel we shouldn’t waste time chatting with co-workers during the work day. But my colleague Andy Greenburg has written about research showing that talking with colleagues can increase your productivity. Specifically, a team of MIT researchers led by Professor Alexander “Sandy” Pentland discovered that call center workers who took the time to converse with their co-workers, instead of just grinding away, got through calls faster, felt less tension and earned the same approval ratings as their peers who didn’t schmooze at the office.

Finally, there is the increasing evidence for the importance of physically moving around during the day, and how it enhances productivity. My colleague Alison Griswold just wrote about Jack Groppel, a co-founder of a division of Johnson & Johnson called the Human Performance Institute. Groppel, who holds a Ph.D. in exercise physiology from Florida State University, insists that stretching and walking around once every 30 minutes throughout the day stimulates blood flow and leads to a burst of hyper oxygenation in the brain, increasing energy and attentiveness.

After canvassing my colleagues, I offer this list of productive ways to goof off during the day and evening. They will boost your productivity and sense of well being. But beware not to overdo any of them. Take too many breaks and you may enter the realm of procrastination.

1. Take a walk around the block.
Fresh air combined with a change of scene can boost productivity.

2. Take a nap.
Some offices offer this as a perk. Closing your eyes for a 15-minute catnap can be hugely refreshing.

3. Chat with a colleague.
Even if you only make small talk, a fresh perspective on your day can help you get a new perspective on the task at hand.

4. Run an errand
Like walking around the block, getting out of the office and taking care of business can give your mind a break and the exercise will get your blood flowing.

5. Brush your teeth.
The symbolism of removing decay and plaque can be especially potent when you are feeling sluggish.

6. Spend ten minutes checking Facebook, Twitter or other social media sites.
This is not as good for you as leaving your desk, but the mental distraction can offer a helpful break. Monitor your time however and don’t let yourself be distracted for more than five minutes.

7. Go to the gym
If your company has an exercise facility, take advantage.

8. Go out to lunch
Judging from the habits of my colleagues, lunch out of the office is a dying American habit. But a healthy meal and good conversation can be nourishing on multiple levels.

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5 Ways to Determine If Your Communication Style is Hurting Your Career

Monday, June 4th, 2012

Kathy Caprino, Contributor – Forbes Magazine

Our communication style and approach speak volumes about how we view ourselves and others.  It also reveals important clues about our sense of worth, power and ability to lead and manage effectively.  Everything we do is communication – we can’t NOT communicate.

Unfortunately, for a large number of professional women, communicating powerfully and authoritatively in the workplace and in their professional endeavors is a deep challenge.

Why do so many women struggle to be confident and authoritative communicators?

There are numerous colliding factors that contribute to women’s communication challenges in the workplace.

First, gender stereotypes abound.  For instance, research shows that success and likability in the professional arena are positively correlated for men and negatively correlated for women.  This means that the more “successful” or assertive a woman appears, the more she is judged negatively and disliked for it.  Being criticized harshly for success consciously and subconsciously impacts how strident, self-assured and successful a woman wishes to appear.

Secondly, as senior leadership remains the bailiwick of men (women make up only 16% of senior corporate leadership in the U.S. today), a  more “male” style of communicating remains dominant and is more accepted and understood.  Recent research findings have shown that men and women’s communication approaches differ  in 10 important ways.  Further, men and women are culturally encouraged and trained (from early childhood on) to focus on different outcomes and tasks through their communication (and brain anatomy plays a part as well).  These core differences in style and approach affect how women’s communication is received and perceived.

Women can use the above realities as excuses to hold them back, or they can navigate through them, and insist on nothing less than powerful and authoritative communication.

Does your communication approach need modification?  Here’s how you can determine if your communication style is hurting your career:

1) People don’t respond well to your words and actions

In a seminar I gave last week at Pepperidge Farm on Fostering Collaboration in Communications and Relationships, we discussed how you can see, immediately, without question, how well you communicate by the outcomes you receive.

When you speak, or present at a meeting or run your staff meetings, what happens?  Do your colleagues respond positively?  Do they want to follow-up on your initiatives and suggestions, or shoot them down?  Do they support you, or criticize your contribution?  In the end, do you engender loyalty, support and trust, or do people walk over you or put you down when you communicate?

2) Your point doesn’t get made

Another indicator of your communication effectiveness is if you feel you get your point across, and that your input is considered.  When you speak, do others listen well, and get what you’re saying?  Does the conversation build on what you’ve offered, or does it veer off immediately to focus on another topic, or another person’s input?

3) You’re not taken seriously

You can’t grow your career and advance to leadership if you’re not taken seriously.  Do you communicate in a way that makes people believe that you know what you’re talking about?  Have you mastered the necessary information/skills/material you need to be an expert in what you’re sharing?  And can you communicate in a way that demonstrates your intellectual and professional abilities?  Have you developed the personal clout that will ensure you’ll be listened to, even if you don’t have the necessary data to support you at that moment?

4) There’s backlash from your words

If there’s negative backlash every time you offer a suggestion or initiative to consider, then it’s time to look at how (and why) you’re presenting your ideas.  Perhaps you haven’t considered the ramifications or repercussions of your ideas, or are threatening others without knowing it.  A powerful communicator knows his/her audience well, and understands the hidden agendas there.  S/he knows what to do to neutralize the fear others may have.  The effective communicator knows what emotions and thoughts her words will elicit in the mind of the listener.

5) Nothing is remembered from what you’ve shared

Finally, do you feel invisible?  Do you contribute at meetings or in conversation but simply get talked over, and no one recalls that you spoke?  If so, this is a sign that your internal and external “power” as a contributor and a player isn’t sufficient to hold others’ attention.  You can change your power quotient, but first you have to acknowledge the power dynamic at work.

If any of these outcomes describe your experience, it’s important to become accountable for what’s happening and not blame others.  After all, if you’re not getting the outcomes you desire, you have to look inward and own your part of it.

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How to Manage a Micromanager

Friday, June 1st, 2012

Deborah L. Jacobs, Forbes Staff 5/07/2012

If you’ve ever worked with a micromanager, you know how unproductive and demoralizing it can be. This control freak is reluctant to delegate, may second-guess everything you do, and can shake your confidence in your own abilities. Simple tasks that you could accomplish quickly if left to your own devices take twice as long. Your efforts may be reduced to dust as the micromanager completely re-does your work.
Sure, you may be tempted to bolt, but at a time of high unemployment, you might not have that option. So better to master the art of managing the micromanager.
Start by understanding what causes someone to act this way. Often it’s a need for control that stems from insecurity: lack of confidence, workplace instability and pressure to produce–both individually and as a team. Deep-seated psychological issues and problems at home can also influence the way people behave at work. Many of us have the propensity to be a micromanger, but some of us rein it in better than others.
With this in mind, here are eight practical steps you can take.

1. Look for patterns.

As annoying as micromanagers are, they’re incredibly predictable. Watch for behavior swings. There will be certain situations, times of the day or week, when they get especially agitated. Knowing their pressure points can help you ease them.

2. Anticipate needs.

Once you know what triggers them, you can stay ahead of those stressors and ease the tensions early on. Flag potential problems before they escalate and offer solutions. Always have a stockpile ready of new initiatives and demonstrate that you are proactive. This helps them curb their responses to the pressure points without slipping into micromanagement mode.

3. Show empathy.

Remember, the micromanager is under pressure to produce. Show that you understand his or her plight and are willing to share the load. This could be as simple as offering to help. Tomorrow might be the day when this colleague has to take a child to school but also has an early meeting. So today ask what you can do to make life easier tomorrow.

4. Be super reliable.

It’s much easier to manage an office where everyone turns up on time and meets work deadlines. This goes back to the fact that a micromanager hates feeling out of control. If some members of the team don’t deliver, the micromanager gets aggravated and makes unfair demands on everyone else. Discuss as a team what you can do to coordinate things in such a way that there’s no need for the micromanager to fret about how everything is running.

5. Be a role model.

Treat the micromanager the way you would like to be treated. Give the micromanager space. Don’t smother or micromanage back. In working with other people, show how your management style is different –and gets equally good results.

6. Speak up—gently.

Often micromanagers are oblivious to the effect they are having on other people. They actually think all their micromanaging is producing a better work product. Show encouragement and support for the micromanager’s strengths. Then, without being confrontational, find a way to let this person know how micromanagement affects you. A little levity could diffuse the tension. Or you might just ask how he or she thinks it feels to be second-guessed and mistrusted all the time.

7. Enlighten others.

It’s not just you who should be shouldering the responsibility of neutralizing someone’s instinct to micromanage. And chances are you’re not the only one suffering either. Explain to others on your team what you’re doing to ease the micro-manager’s anxiety and encourage them to do the same.

8. Run interference.

If a micromanager reports to you and has a detrimental effect on other team members, be a sounding board. Often the micromanager has a skill or quality that’s important to the organization. But it’s up to this manager’s boss to play a leading role in preventing other team members from getting squelched.

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5 Signs It’s Time to Reprioritize at Work

Friday, March 23rd, 2012

During Lent many people often give up or do without as they contemplate their spiritual beliefs, and how Jesus Christ’s life and death personally affects how they live their lives on a daily basis. Regardless if you’re Christian or not, the Lenten season typically provides an opportunity for quiet self-reflection during observation of the Holy days. If it feels like you’re one step away from spending an entire day in bed or just vegetating, then read on to see if you’re in need of reprioritizing at work.
1. You consistently add more to your To-Do List than you cross-off
Sometimes it helps to pause and see the long term (a couple of months or more) and short term (every week or daily) reasoning behind why you’re driving yourself so hard. If you’re able to sense that the upcoming week will be packed, then it behooves you to slow down the following week.
Solution: If one day is super busy, then plan to have more down time the next day to recover or attend to what wasn’t finished the previous day. This only works if you have set busy/recovery times.
2. Forgetting important details
If you find that you cannot remember what you did an hour earlier, or are trying to remember if you had made an appointment for your personal health earlier in the year, then you may be overworked.
Solution: In this case a planner comes in extremely handy. Use it to look things up, and to keep track going forward. If you’re so busy, you’re unable to recall with your memory, then you may be doing too many things at once and will need to slow down and do less.
3. Work through breaks and lunch
Stop. Our bodies need nourishment and time off, several times during the day. Being on “go” all day, with no moments to savor a cup of tea, or chew our food thoroughly, enjoying the bursts of flavor, not only affects our waistlines and digestion, it affects our resiliency to stress.
Solution: Put down your pen, back away from the computer, turn off your phone. Spend the 15-, 30-, or hour long break being in the present moment, being aware of what your senses are telling you, and enjoying the respite from work.
4. You commit to meetings and helping others, and your work performance suffers
If you find yourself saying yes when your plate is already too full, or you are being given too many tasks by your boss (or pressure from yourself) to be able to complete in a regular work day, and you’re unable to tie up your loose ends each week, then you may need to re-evaluate what’s important.
Solution: Sit down over the weekend with your planner. Pencil everything that must get done next week. Schedule the day and time when you’ll get these high priority items done. If you don’t know until the morning of each day, then estimate how long you can devote to the last minute high priority items, and block this amount of time out. Then, as you’re given more things to do, as you create your daily agenda, and there’s no time to add the new tasks, write them into your schedule for the next day. If you have to negotiate what to leave on and take off the agenda with someone, your written schedule provides a visual aid with which to make your point.
5. You feel resistance, lethargy, exhaustion, and anxiety whenever you think of what needs to be done
If you find yourself getting overwhelmed or anxious that your slate is never wiped clean, then you may need to take a break so you can gain a fresh perspective to improve your mood.
Solution: Take a half a day or an entire day off so you can get away to refresh your batteries. Do not think about what needs to be done, just give yourself permission to relax and spend time doing the things you love by yourself and with the people you love.
If you regularly experience three or more of these signs, then it may be time to take a hard look at your schedule so you don’t burn out. And, if you’re burnt out, then it will take longer than just a day to regain your equilibrium. Be gentle with yourself, and give yourself permission to slow down. If it’s a question of how to enforce your boundaries better with others so you don’t take on too much, then learn how to set boundaries and manage your time. It’s never too late to learn.
Lyndsay Katauskas, Med
Mars Venus Coaching
Corporate Media Relations

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“How to Get What You Want at Work – 4 Tips for Dealing with the Opposite Sex at Work”

Monday, March 12th, 2012

 

1st Tip for the workplace

 

These tips are based on the fascinating online video eWorkshop: Mars and Venus in the Workplace. There are 4 unique tips for women and 4 for men that when practiced reduces gender conflict and will have the following benefits:

  • Higher productivity and creativity
  • Greater cooperation and collaboration
  • Decreased loss of personnel, which leads to decreased cost & time spent on recruitment and training
  • Better understanding of the needs and concerns of your customers (regardless of whether they are internal or external customers), and
  • Better decision-making… a competitive advantage for the company as a whole when it maximizes masculine & feminine skills

Here is the first tip for both a woman and a man…

Tip For Women
Women need to practice letting others know of their achievements, their results and their ideas. Do not wait for someone to ask you for your ideas or what you’ve been up to – let them know. Men do not see this as bragging. What they see is a competent and capable person. Women need to remember that men are socialized from an early age to suppress doubts and maintain, either a façade or, a reality of self confidence. This is a great skill and essential in a situation where it is necessary to maintain status within a group. Being confident in promoting yourself will only improve levels of communication with men in the workplace.

Tip For Men
For men dealing with women, building rapport is a very easy and important way to improve your work dealings with women. Because relationships are important to women, if you make the effort to get to know them, or if they feel they have something in common with you, they are more likely to positively respond to your requests and ideas.

A female manager will typically tend to discuss a challenge or situation with others, seek their input and feedback from the team before making a recommendation to senior management. She thinks it’s important that everyone feels they have contributed to the decision and therefore are more likely to support it. This is her style of management. It is based on cooperation and collaboration (and a whole stack of other C words – conversation, connection, commiseration and compassion). When a man values and frequently practices building rapport another C word will be realized and that is COOPERATION.

The whole premise of our “Mars and Venus in the Workplace” online video eWorkshop is that we are different and equal – not that one is better than the other – different and equal. Through awareness and understanding of some basic gender differences we both can learn some simple, yet practical solutions… making it much easier to interpret each other’s behavior correctly, act accordingly and ultimately get the outcome we desire.

If you found this information helpful, click the link below to learn more about the complete online video eWorkshop, “Mars and Venus in the Workplace”. LEARN MORE ABOUT THE COMPLETE ONLINE VIDEO eWORKSHOP NOW

“Mars and Venus in the Workplace” is the same life-changing, career-changing workshop that John Gray and his team of Mars Venus Success coaches have given in-person throughout the world. And now you can benefit from this workshop in the comfort of your own home.

PURCHASE TODAY! “MARS and VENUS in the WORKPLACE” ONLINE VIDEO eWORKSHOP

The Relationships You Want. Start Here.

Sincerely,

Mars Venus Coaching Team

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How To Follow Your Passion When You’re Just Trying To Pay The Bills

Tuesday, February 28th, 2012

During tough economic times, many people think they need to sacrifice passion and focus solely on earning money. From a spiritual perspective, this is the exact opposite approach to generating real abundance. Yes, paying your bills takes practical action. But it also requires an internal belief system powered by inspiration and passion. Without an emphasis on passion, it’s likely that no matter how many actions you take, you’ll still wind up feeling stuck.

Neglecting passion blocks creative flow. When you’re passionate, you’re energized. Likewise, when you lack passion, your energy is low and unproductive. Energy is everything when it comes to earning. Quantum physics teaches us that our bodies are made up of subatomic particles that are energy. Your thoughts, attention, and focus affect your energy and therefore everything around you—including your bank account. So when you’re thinking only about the mundane to-do lists and practical action steps, you’re lowering your energy and in effect lowering your earning power.

Your life becomes what you think about most. When you focus on following your passion and letting inspiration flow, your energy is raised and your earning capacity is strong. But when you’re uninspired and bogged down by low-level thoughts, your attracting power is weakened.

Now that you have a better understanding of the earning value of passionate, positive energy, it’s time to take it more seriously. Read on for three simple, effective ways you can bring more passion into your life—even if you’re crazy-busy.

Who said your job had to be your only source of passion?

Our culture places such a huge emphasis on our careers, that we lose track of our passion projects. But who said your job had to be your only source of passion? A dear friend of mine is a powerful example of balancing passion and career. He works in corporate America, but moonlights as a guitar player. Though he spends his weekdays at a desk, he spends his weekends indulging his passion projects such as gigging with his band, writing, drawing, and learning about art. Though he dedicates a lot of his time to his career, there is no lack of passion in his life.

The passion of being of service

When we’re of service to the world, we feel inspired and passionate about the work that we do. Perhaps the work you’re doing is service-related—getting clear about the ways in which it serves the world may make you more passionate about it. If that’s not the case with your job, maybe you volunteer for a local charity once a month, or find a way to participate in your community, or promote bigger causes. Awaken a service mentality. When you serve the world, you serve your soul.

Shift your perception about the way you make money

If you’re hung up about the fact that your primary source of revenue doesn’t come from your true passion, shift your perspective. Be grateful for the work that you have and focus on the good stuff. Find even the smallest part of your work that ignites your passion. Maybe you love interacting with clients, or the neighborhood where you work. Maybe you’re learning something new by being on that job. Focus on what you do have and you’ll create more of what you want.

Take these action steps seriously. We all have work to do to support our economy, and if we’re void of passion we won’t have the energy and inspiration to serve. The more passion we ignite in our lives, the higher our earning capacity will be and the more we’ll impact financial growth in our country. When we all raise our thoughts we’ll raise our bank accounts—and greatly serve the world.

Gabrielle Bernstein |

Featured in the New York Times Sunday Styles section as “a new role model,” motivational speaker, life coach, and author Gabrielle Bernstein is making her mark. Expanding the lexicon for the next generation of spiritual seekers, Gabrielle is the #1 bestselling author of the book, Add More ~ing to Your Life, A hip Guide to Happiness. In September 2011 Gabrielle launched her second book, Spirit Junkie, A Radical Road to Self-Love and Miracles. In 2008 she launched her social networking site HerFuture.com for young women to find mentors.

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Black Friday Traditions

Wednesday, November 23rd, 2011

Have you ever been to a Black Friday sale? Do you ever wonder what all the excitement is about? Given today’s economy, more and more people are looking to get more out of and for their money. Gifts are traditionally given as a sign of gratitude, thoughtfulness, or celebration of special events. If you have a long list of gifts to buy for the upcoming holiday season, what is the best choice the day after Thanksgiving: shopping or spending quality time relaxing with those closest to you?

Shopping

Some people like buying just to acquire things. Getting up early or sleeping in lines to get the best deals can reinforce spending time with loved ones if you are doing the shopping with them, or it could take a more materialistic bent. Snatching up objects with little thought to whom or what it is intended for, can add both mental and emotional clutter to your life.

Here are some tips to stay focused on connecting with others throughout the gift searching and giving season. As you score on great deals keep in mind that gifts are given to connect with others and show them you care or are thinking about them.

  1. Identify your budget for the holiday season.
  2. Create a List of people important to you whom you’d like to find gifts.
  3. Write down gifts that each person on your list may like to receive.

Taking a few minutes to identify what the perfect gifts would be for who you would like to buy gifts for can prevent you from grabbing, snatching, and over-spending. If you enjoy making things, then you can also think about things you can hand make too.

It should never be about how much a gift costs, but the thought and effort put into picking out just the right gift that reflects celebrating your relationship to one another.

What’s the Real Purpose?

I believe the real reason why we want to get good deals is so we can let those in our life know how much we care about them.  When you find good deals do you:

  • Buy more presents so you can give gifts to more people or
  • Save and have peace of mind that you didn’t break the bank?

If you have family or friends in town, or if you’ve traveled to be with loved ones over Thanksgiving, you have to choices—take them with you as you go shopping or stay at home! Both ways you can connect and share laughs and memories together.

Whenever we have family and friends in town to give thanks together we tend to choose relaxing, chatting, and connecting with one another. And to us Black Friday is the perfect excuse to stay in and focus on family, because we hear it’s a crazy jungle out there!

Regardless of whether you stay in or go shopping on Black Friday, do you find yourself year in and year out using this day to think about and or connect with your loved ones? What’s your Black Friday tradition?

Lyndsay Katauskas, MEd

Mars Venus Coaching

Corporate Media Relations

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Feeling Overwhelmed?

Friday, November 18th, 2011

Are you burned out from doing too many things all of the time? Here are four things you can do on a daily basis to proactively feel energized and stress-free. There is one question you need to ask and remind yourself of daily to help you reprioritize what’s important to you. What is your strategic objective? The second thing you must do to feel and be on top of things is to prioritize what must be done and finished each day. And the third thing: work your to-do list. If you’re thinking, “yeah, but I already do this” or “right—that’s not gonna work.” The one thing you may have forgotten to include on your to-do list is: PLAY! And play is non-negotiable, it’s even more important than your dentist appointment or paying your bills.

Let me explain.

Tip #1: What is Your Strategic Objective?

Another way to ask this is what is your purpose in life? Or another way is to look at the patterns in your life of lessons learned…and ask yourself what are the themes that consistently run through your life? For some people it may be to help others, or to grow well-adjusted kids within an in-tact family, or to pursue your talents in a job that pays well and lets you find balance.

If you can identify what motivates you to accomplish things that make you feel complete and successful in life—you can then cross off anything on your calendar that is a TIME WASTER. If you’re doing something that doesn’t fit with your vision for yourself, then don’t do it. If you have to do it, then figure out a way to relate it to your strategic objective. Otherwise you will wind up grumpy and dissatisfied or like you’re always doing for other people. If you don’t know what your vision, strategic objective, or life purpose is—explore. Find it. And then make sure 80% of your day is taken up with doing activities that relates to this purpose.

Tip #2: Create a Weekly To-Do List AND Daily Plan of the Day

Items needed: Calendar/Planner, Weekly To-Do List, Daily To-Do List, Pen, 20 minutes 1x/week, Partner and/or Kids (if you’re in a relationship and/or raising a family)

On your calendar put down any appointments or things you have scheduled involving other people/work/exercise/meal preparation/bill paying/kids.

Then look at the next seven days. On your Weekly To-Do List write out all of your to-do’s that relate to your strategic objective first. Then write out the activities from you calendar.

Looking at this list highlight or circle those that are urgent—meaning they must be completed this week. Underline or highlight in a different color those things that are important.

If there are things that are neither urgent or important, then send regrets or reschedule to a more open week.

Tip #3: Create a Daily To-Do List, 7 days a week

Items needed: Weekly To-Do List, Daily To-Do List, Pen, Highlighter(s), 15 minutes each day

Block out 2-4 hours each day for YOU. This can be done in increments of 5 minutes or in 2 hour blocks. This time you are blocking out is for you to do stress-reducing activities aside from working out. These stress-reducing activities are for you to spend time EVERY day slowing down the pace, and doing activities that rejuvenate and refocus you. They are non-negotiable. And it doesn’t work if you save up for rainy days. Your body needs this TIME to slow down and replenish it’s stress-reducing hormones.

Each evening before you go to bed make a daily plan for the following day of what HAS to get done (i.e. your URGENT items). If you didn’t finish something from the day before, it goes to the top of your list for the following day.

In the morning re-visit the list you made from last night.

If you’re working with a coach, then your strategic objective would also incorporate visualizing the KPIs you’ve set for yourself and your identified goals.

Tip #4: Play

Take your lunch breaks, drop what you’re doing when you begin to feel overwhelmed or stressed out and do an oxytocin-producing activity if you’re a woman, or a testosterone-producing activity if you’re a man to flush the stress-producing hormone, cortisol, out of your system.

Seize the day.

Lyndsay Katauskas, MEd

Mars Venus Coaching

Corporate Media Relations

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