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Shiny Happy People At Work [BLOG]

Wednesday, February 8th, 2012

It’s been quite some time since I actually worked in an office, but I still remember it like it was yesterday. The room layout, the florescent lights, my cubicle partners, the weekly birthday celebrations complete with sheet cakes and balloons. Although I have been an entrepreneur for over 10 years, I have fond memories of my work experience and I wouldn’t change a moment of it. Don’t get me wrong, it wasn’t always rosy; in fact, I was fired from my first real job.

Boy was that a painful experience! Fresh out of college and working for Capitol Records as an assistant in the International Marketing Department, I was going to weekly concerts, meeting recording artists and having the time of my life. That was the fun part. The work part was a little more difficult. My assistant skills were slim at best and I had a female boss who was less than friendly. Everything I did was wrong and she was always correcting me. The straw that finally broke the camel’s back was when I went over my boss’ head to her superior to ask special permission for something that she said no to. Needless to say, it did not end well. I did, however, learn a valuable lesson that has stuck with me to this day and that is to be deferential to your superiors, especially your immediate boss!

Why am I telling you this story? Because even though I got fired in the end, I realized that I truly enjoyed working! I liked dressing for work, I appreciated interacting with my co-workers, I relished in meeting the clients and I appreciated the sense of accomplishment I felt at the end of the day. Sound familiar? For many people, this is not the tune they sing. Theirs is more of a solemn tune of drudgery filled with sayings that start with “Ugh, do I have to go to work today?” or “Is tomorrow really Monday? I think I’ll call in sick.”

Since we spend so many of our waking hours at the office, it behooves us to invest a little more effort into putting on a shiny, happy face for work. It can be your greatest asset! A good attitude is integral to any office environment whether it consists of 2 workers or 200. Turning a negative attitude into a positive one can help you make the most of your workday. Here are a few workplace etiquette tips we hope will help keep things peaceful and positive in your work environment.

Wrap Up Your Troubles

Pack up your troubles in a nice box, wrap them with a bow and set the imaginary package on a shelf in your home. Everyone has a certain amount of stress that they can’t seem to shake. The daily pressures of living in today’s world can bring about a whole host of physical and mental problems that can cause loss of concentration, scattered thoughts and general lack of focus at work. The act of putting our troubles away before we leave the house frees us of that heavy weight and allows for a much more positive atmosphere at work.

Make A Conscious Effort

The word “work” may conjure up images that are less than desirable, but they don’t have to be debilitating. If we take on the mindset of putting 100% effort into our performance at work, the day will automatically go more smoothly. Get in the habit of displaying impeccable work habits, arriving on time, working to your full potential and staying focused and you will be surprised at the great things you can achieve.

Give Co-workers Their Space

There’s been a great deal of talk about cubicle etiquette and allowing our colleagues their space even if they are not surrounded by four walls. This is an important point that many do not take into consideration and can raise the tension level at work. So be considerate of your co-worker and (a) don’t enter another person’s cubicle unless you are invited, (b) refrain from interrupting a person who is on the phone, (c) be mindful of conducting loud conversations, and (d) avoid applying strong perfumes and eating pungent foods. Bear in mind that your cubicle is a direct reflection of you. Keep it neat and orderly and be respectful of others.

Be A Team Player

As the saying goes, there is no “I” in team. When you arrive at work, it is much easier to be cooperative, kind and patient towards others than it is to remain solitary. Support your colleagues by asking their input and valuing their remarks. Be a problem solver by offering to assist wherever help is needed. Refrain from gossip or slander and keep private matters confidential. Act as a source of encouragement to everyone and pay deference to your superiors. These characteristics will not only classify you as a dependable worker, but they may also result in greater opportunities for advancement.

Guarantee Job Security

A bad attitude can lead to permanent repercussions. In today’s highly competitive marketplace, one cannot afford to be branded as difficult or sensitive. If there is a particular struggle at work, nip it in the bud by giving others the benefit of the doubt or letting things roll off your shoulders once in a while. Taking steps to improve your disposition will lead to a much more positive outcome and make you a valuable asset rather than a disposable liability.

Now, we know it is virtually impossible to be the happy, peppy face of positivity all the time. At one point or other, you are bound to hit a wall at work. When this happens, acknowledge it, take a few deep breaths and remember you have the power within you to turn it around. If all else fails, put on a smile and fake it till you make it. Eventually, you will lighten up and all will be well again.

Lisa Gache / Beverly Hills Manners’ CEO, Lisa Gaché, is one of the foremost etiquette, manners and life skills experts. Her educational and entertainment company, founded in 2006, is recognized for its new school approach. Lisa has appeared in the media and contributed to various outlets, including CNN, NPR, “The Today Show,” KTLA-TV, Radio Disney, Woman’s Day, USA Today, The Los Angeles Times, The New York Post and The New York Daily News. Her contributions to blogs and websites range from the Los Angeles Times, AOL, The Huffington Post and Weddzilla. Gaché has also been a guest expert on number of reality shows including VH1’s “Charm School” and Discovery Channel’s “Living with Ed.”

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How To Make Lasting Changes For New Year’s or Any Time Of Year

Wednesday, February 1st, 2012

Any Time Is A Good Time For Healthy Changes

Setting goals (rather than taking the traditional ‘resolution’ approach) can transform your year!

Each year, many people make resolutions for change, and each year, most of those resolutions go…unresolved. This isn’t due to people’s lack of desire for a better life; it’s just a byproduct of the reality that change is difficult. Our habits become ingrained and automatic; changing them requires constant effort until a new habit is formed. This resource can help you to make necessary alterations in your expectations, attitudes, and methods of change so that you can experience real results that last. The following ideas can help:

Think in Terms of “Goals”, Rather Than “Resolutions”: While most people make resolutions that they’re determined to keep, a better tactic would be to create goals. “What’s the difference?” you may ask. With traditional resolutions, people generally approach change with the attitude, “From now on, I will no longer [name a given behavior you’d like to change]>” The problem with this is, after one or two slip-ups, people feel like failures and tend to drop the whole effort, falling easily back into familiar patterns. By setting goals, one instead aims to work toward a desired behavior. The key difference is that people working toward goals expect that they won’t be perfect at first, and are pleased with any progress they make. Rather than letting perfectionism work against them, they allow motivation and pride to do their magic. The following ideas can help you with meeting your ‘New Years Goals’:

Remember That It’s A Process: Expect to work your way up, rather than maintaining perfection and feeling let-down if you don’t achieve it immediately.
Work Your Way Up: In setting goals for new behavior, aim for once or twice a week, rather than every day. For example, instead of saying, “I’ll go to the gym every day,” plan for “every Wednesday” or, better yet, sign up for a fun exercise class, and you can work your way up to more often.
Set Yourself Up To Succeed: Set small, attainable goals, and add more steps as you complete each one. This way, you gradually work your way toward the life you want and the necessary changes, but you experience much more ‘success’ along the way, rather than feeling like a failure if you don’t experience ultimate change overnight.

Have A Goal Each Month: If you’re like most people, you may have several changes you’d like to make in your life; if so, it may be a good idea to tackle one each month. This way, 1) you can focus more, as you won’t be trying to make several sweeping changes at once; 2) you can re-commit yourself each month to a new idea, so you keep growing all year, and self-improvement becomes a way of life; and 3) you can build on each success, so you can first free up time before you take on a new hobby or get involved in an important cause, for example. Also, habits generally take 21 days to form. This setup enables you to devote energy to forming new habits more easily before moving on to the next, so you’re not relying solely on will-power.

Reward Your Progress: While many of your resolutions carry their own reward, changing your habits can be challenging, and it’s sometimes easier to do so if you have a little extra help. (Remember how positive reinforcement from a supportive teacher helped you learn, even though the knowledge itself was its own reward?) Providing extra rewards for yourself can help you to stay on track and maintain your motivation, even if you sometimes don’t feel like making the effort solely for the sake of the benefit the change itself will create. The following are ways you can create rewards for yourself:

Team Up: Have a buddy who knows your goals, and encourage each other, even if you’re working on separate goals. This will provide you with someone who can give you a high-five when you deserve one, and a little encouragement when you need it.
Reward Small Successes: Divide your goal into bite-sized steps and have a reward waiting at the completion of each.
Align Rewards With Goals: Have rewards that are in line with your achievements (like new workout clothes for every 5 gym visits, or a beautiful new pen if you stick with your journaling habit for two weeks).

As for the goals you set, it’s important that you choose your goals wisely, or it will be hard to make them stick. You also want to pick goals that will really help improve your life, so the effort will have a nice payoff. I suggest these Top 10 Resolutions for Stress Relief or these Top 5 Changes for a Healthy Lifestyle. Good luck!

By Elizabeth Scott, M.S., About.com Guide

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3 Tips to Achieving Your Goals

Monday, January 30th, 2012

Mars Venus Coach – Liza Tsapenko

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Does Gender Bias Against Female Leaders Persist?

Friday, January 27th, 2012

[Quantitative and qualitative data from a large-scale survey]

The present study of 60,470 women and men examined evaluations of participants’ current managers as well as their preferences for male and female managers, in general. A cross-sex bias emerged in the ratings of one’s current boss, where men judged their female bosses more favorably and women judged male bosses more favorably. The quality of relationships between subordinates and managers were the same for competent male and female managers. A small majority (54%) of participants claimed to have no preference for the gender of their boss, but the remaining participants reported preferring male over female bosses by more than a 2:1 ratio. Qualitative analysis of the participants’ justifications for this preference are presented, and results are discussed within the framework of role congruity theory.

To read the survey in its entirety: http://m.hum.sagepub.com/content/64/12/1555.abstract?sid=ab886a07-1048-41d5-a51f-4564a3a0db0b

Then click PDF (2nd button in upper left corner).

Article Notes

  • Kim M Elsesser is a research scholar at the Center for the Study of Women at the University of California, Los Angeles. In addition to her PhD in Psychology from UCLA, Elsesser holds graduate degrees in management and operations research from MIT. In her business career, she was a principal at Morgan Stanley where she co-managed a quantitative hedge fund. More recently she has consulted on large-scale national studies relating to gender and work, and her research interests include gender and leadership, gender discrimination, sexual harassment, cross-sex friendships and social support in the workplace. Her most recent work appears in Human Relations.

  • Janet Lever is Professor of Sociology at California State University, Los Angeles. For the past 40 years her research has focused on wide-ranging issues related to gender studies and human sexuality. Since the early 1980s Lever has collaborated with mass media both to popularize academic scholarship and to harness its power to create data for later scientific analysis. After leading teams of researchers that designed the three largest magazine sex surveys ever tabulated, she came to ELLE to lead a series of surveys hosted on both the health and the business sections of msnbc.com. Her Office Sex and Romance Survey (2002) and the Work and Power Survey reported on here are among the largest surveys on these workplace topics. As with the magazine surveys, each of these internet surveys has been reanalyzed for social science, management, health, and medical audiences.

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Vision, Strategy, and Tactics

Wednesday, January 25th, 2012
  • Vision: What you want the organization to be; your dream.
  • Strategy: What you are going to do to achieve your vision.
  • Tactics: How you will achieve your strategy and when.

Your vision is your dream of what you want the organization to be. Your strategy is the large-scale plan you will follow to make the dream happen. Your tactics are the specific actions you will take to follow the plan. Start with the vision and work down to the tactics as you plan for your organization https://ed-oesterreichische.at/.

Concepts Are The Same

Whether you are planning for the entire company or just for your department the concepts are the same. Only the scale is different. You start with the vision statement (sometimes called a mission statement). When you know what the vision is you can develop a strategy to get you to the vision. When you have decided on a strategy, you can develop tactics to meet the strategy.

Vision

A vision is an over-riding idea of what the organization should be. Often it reflects the dream of the founder or leader. Your company’s vision could be, for example, to be “the largest retailer of automobiles in the US”, “the maker of the finest chocolate candies in London”, or “the management consultant of choice for non-profit organizations in the Southwest.” A vision must be sufficiently clear and concise that everyone in the organization understands it and can buy into it with passion.

Strategy

Your strategy is one or more plans that you will use to achieve your vision. To be “the largest retailer of automobiles in the US” you might have to decide whether it is better strategy for you to buy other retailers, try to grow a single retailer, or a combination of both. A strategy looks inward at the organization, but it also looks outward at the competition and at the environment and business climate.

To be “the management consultant of choice for non-profit organizations in the Southwest” your strategy would need to evaluate what other companies offer management consulting services in the Southwest, which of those target non-profits, and which companies could in the future begin to offer competing services. Your strategy also must determine how you will become “the consultant of choice”. What will you do so that your targeted customers choose you over everyone else? Are you going to offer the lowest fees? Will you offer a guarantee? Will you hire the very best people and build a reputation for delivering the most innovative solutions?

If you decide to compete on lowest billing rates, what will you do if a competing consulting firm drops their rates below yours? If you decide to hire the best people, how will you attract them? Will you pay the highest salaries in a four-state area, give each employee an ownership position in the company, or pay annual retention bonuses? Your strategy must consider all these issues and find a solution that works AND that is true to your vision.

Tactics

Your tactics are the specific actions, sequences of actions, and schedules you will use to fulfill your strategy. If you have more than one strategy you will have different tactics for each. A strategy to be the most well-known management consultant, as part of your vision to be “the management consultant of choice for non-profit organizations in the Southwest” might involve tactics like advertising in the Southwest Non-Profits Quarterly Newsletter for three successive issues, advertising in the three largest-circulation newspapers in the Southwest for the next six months, and buying TV time monthly on every major-market TV station in the southwest to promote your services. Or it might involve sending a letter of introduction and a brochure to the Executive Director of every non-profit organization in the Southwest with an annual budget of over $500,000.

Firm or Flexible?

Things change. You need to change with them, or ahead of them. However, with respect to vision, strategy and tactics, you need some flexibility and some firmness. Hold to your dream, your vision. Don’t let that be buffeted by the winds of change. Your vision should be the anchor that holds all the rest together. Strategy is a long-term plan, so it may need to change in response to internal or external changes, but strategy changes should only happen with considerable thought. Changes to strategy also should not happen until you have a new one to replace the old one. Tactics are the most flexible. If some tactic isn’t working, adjust it and try again.

Manage This Issue

Whether for one department or the entire company, for a multi-national corporation or a one-person company, vision, strategy, and tactics are essential. Develop the vision first and hold to it. Develop a strategy to achieve your vision and change it as you have to to meet internal or external changes. Develop flexible tactics that can move you toward fulfilling your strategy.

By F. John Reh, About.com Guide

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Making Daily Progress Towards Your Big Goals

Monday, January 23rd, 2012

Often we make New Year’s Resolutions, because we are dissatisfied with something in our lives. When we make our resolutions, we want things to change as soon as possible. What we often forget is that long-term lifestyle changes take time, patience, and effort.

I believe you have to know what your long-term goals are so you can make small goals (i.e., daily tasks) have direction and purpose. I only work with people who are 100% committed to change. But what does that mean? When you commit to changing something about yourself, then you have to ask yourself and know the answers to these two questions.

(1)    How much is it worth to me to achieve this goal? What am I willing to pay? What will I sacrifice now, so I can achieve this goal sooner, rather than later?

(2)    How will I know when I’m successful? What will make me satisfied, but encouraged to keep working harder?

I believe you have to remind yourself daily of your answers to the two questions above, otherwise you may find yourself quickly coming up with lots of things to do on your to-do list that are not aligned with the daily action you must take to achieve the goals that are most important to you, your happiness, and success.

Psychologists Teresa Amabile and Steven Kramer latest program of research called The Progress Principle encourages people to focus on small immediate changes at work where they can see the progress they’ve made to increase their motivation, job satisfaction, and productivity. This is counter to what many people do when making resolutions and goals for themselves (whether it is at work or in their personal lives) that take a long time to achieve. Ronald Riggio, Ph.D., explains how these two psychologists stumbled upon what computer game programmers have known for years: that people become strongly motivated (sometimes even addicted)  to accomplish small tasks (i.e. get to the next level); he further explains how to use this knowledge to get ahead at work.

If you’ve been reading the latest articles on major news websites like Kathy Kristof’s on 7 Ways to Keep Your New Year’s Resolutions the last few weeks, you may have noticed two trends often mentioned: choose small bite-sized goals and celebrate every time you surpass or meet these small goals. For example, if you’d like to lose 30 pounds, then focus on losing 1 pound per week for 30 weeks. Each week you lose 1 pound, then celebrate with a reward such as a manicure or a bubble bath. If you’d like to run a marathon and you don’t run, then focus first on running 5 miles the first week, and increase your mileage by 10% each week, celebrating your breakthroughs each week. I completely agree; however, know why you’ve committed to challenging yourself to do, or think, or feel differently each day.

Be Aware of the Big Picture

What this means is that even though we are focusing on small daily tasks, before we commit to what we’re going to do each day; we also need to be cognizant of what our BIG, long-term goals are so that somewhere in the busy-work of our days we’re doing the small tasks that will get us closer to our long-term goals. Knowing what the big picture is for why we work on daily and weekly goals will help us stay focused on the direction our lives are moving towards while providing daily structure.

Lyndsay Katauskas, MEd

Mars Venus Coaching

Corporate Media Relations

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Fathers and Daughters: Passing on the Family Business

Monday, January 16th, 2012

More women are taking over family-owned companies, but the handover isn’t always smooth

By Karen E. Klein

Family-owned companies account for 80 percent of all businesses worldwide, and about one-third of them are owned by women. Although U.S. Census data and recent research shows that daughters and wives are increasingly taking over family businesses, few studies have been done on the process. That’s the subject of a new book, Father-Daughter Succession in Family Business, (Gower, 2011) by Daphne Halkias, a social science researcher at Cornell University and senior research fellow at the Center for Young & Family Enterprise at the University of Bergamo in Italy. The book seeks to illuminate the process of father-daughter succession around the globe and find ways to encourage it, Halkias says. She spoke recently to Smart Answers columnist Karen E. Klein. Edited excerpts of their conversation follow.

What got you interested in this topic?

In 2005 I was a visiting MBA professor in Greece. About half my students were women, many of them from family-owned businesses. They were concerned about succeeding their fathers, because many were only children, or one of two sisters, and they had a lot of emotional conflicts with their fathers.

What kinds of conflicts would arise?

She might want to take the initiative, but the father didn’t want to give up control. Or a father might be waiting for his daughter to get married, so she could do PR for the company and her husband would come in as a kind of surrogate son and successor.

You did surveys on this topic in various countries. What did you find?

Sons were gung-ho: 100 percent of them were ready to succeed their fathers in business. Most of the girls, however, did not want to continue in the family business. They wanted to be independent and go into business on their own. They adored their families, but they encountered so many cultural and emotional conflicts with their fathers, they wanted to leave or let a future husband take over the company.

What are some takeaways from the case studies in the book?

Across cultures, we saw the repeated desire to maintain harmonious family relationships. It’s as if the daughter were constantly involved in a course correction with every new and difficult step in the succession process, in order to ensure a state of community with the father and among the various stakeholders of the family business.

Are women gaining ground when it comes to family succession?

Women, and daughters specifically, have increased chances of higher education, and a younger generation of fathers are accepting women in the workforce. Consequently, [women] have quietly been ascending to the ranks of many lesser-known family businesses around the world.

What factors still hold women back from taking over a family company?

There is still gender and age bias. In some Asian cultures, especially, we found that a woman was able to move more easily within the business and within the succession process once she was married. In many cultures, it’s very difficult for a single woman to move in business circles.

Also in many cultures, unlike in Europe and the U.S., the extended family is very involved in a business. So conflicts might not just be between the father and daughter; male cousins and uncles, and brothers-in-law could get into the conflict also.

Were there any cultures you studied in which women were forbidden to assume control of a family business?

We did not find that anywhere, even in the most conservative cultures we studied. That might be surprising to us in the West, because we often have a narrow view of what goes on in other cultures. The reality is that women have made great strides all over the world and across many cultures, religious backgrounds, and geographic locations.

That desire for work-family balance keeps some women in the U.S. from taking top-level management jobs or becoming entrepreneurs. Did you see that in other cultures?

In certain countries, women don’t have a choice to remain single or not to have children. Their families arrange marriages for them within large circles of extended family and friends. But once they have children, the extended family gets involved in raising the children.

So two-career families have grandmothers and cousins and siblings, many of whom live in the same big building or the same neighborhood, and they all help out. It’s a very natural way of life, and in many cases, working women are not as isolated as they often are in the West.

[Karen E. Klein is a Los Angeles-based writer who covers entrepreneurship and small-business issues.]

Mars Venus Coaching

Corporate Media Relations

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The Entrepreneurship Gender Gap Isn’t Shrinking

Thursday, January 12th, 2012

Women still start fewer businesses than men and are less likely to achieve business success, according to a comprehensive new international survey

By Karen E. Klein

Drawing on interviews with more than 175,000 adults and multiple sources of data, the Global Entrepreneurship Monitor 2010 Women’s Report, released earlier this week, is the most comprehensive study to date of women’s business activity, says Donna J. Kelley, associate professor of entrepreneurship at Babson College and lead author of the report. Evaluating 59 economies, it found that more than 104 million women ages 18 to 64 were actively engaged in starting and running new business ventures, and 83 million women were running businesses that were more than three years old.

Despite the impressive numbers, the report reveals a persistent gender gap. Kelley spoke this week to Smart Answers columnist Karen E. Klein about the findings and the policy implications of the report. Edited excerpts of their conversation follow.

Karen E. Klein: This GEM survey is the first to look specifically at women entrepreneurs since 2002. What’s changed?

Donna J. Kelley: We continue to see consistently that fewer women become entrepreneurs than men. In some economies you have ups and downs in entrepreneurship and women follow those trends. But in general, fewer women participate in most of the world’s economies.

In our 2010 data, only one country had more women than men involved in entrepreneurship and that was Ghana. What we see there and in many developing countries is that women participate out of necessity because they need to create income for their families and they have few other job possibilities.

Which countries had the highest participation rates for women entrepreneurs?

The Latin American economies and the sub-Saharan African region had more relative participation from women compared to men and there are higher entrepreneurship rates overall in those countries as well. In the Middle East, Eastern Europe, and Northern Africa, we see both lower entrepreneurship rates overall and less participation by women.

What about Asia?

That’s interesting. Korea has the lowest participation rate for women relative to men even though the country as a whole has pretty good entrepreneurship rates. Japan also has low participation rates for women, and low entrepreneurship rates overall. China has both high rates of entrepreneurship overall and pretty good participation rates for women, with 16 percent of the male population engaged in entrepreneurship and 12 percent of women.

What kinds of factors determine how many women participate in business ownership?

There are a lot of factors, including the availability of employment options for women and the availability of child care. It’s hard to identify specific reasons in specific countries, but culture is really important. Talking with some of my Korean colleagues, they say there are definite role expectations for women and fewer day-care options. In China, women typically have their parents take care of the children so they are empowered to go out and work.

Which countries had the greatest level of equality between men and women?

Australia has equal numbers of women and men participating in entrepreneurship, but more than twice as many men running established businesses as women. In the U.S., 8 percent of the male population and 7 percent of the female population is engaged in entrepreneurship. But again, there are more male established business owners than female business owners.

Interestingly, in Norway we saw a reverse trend. There are three times as many males as female entrepreneurs, but only 1.5 times as many males as female established business owners.

What attitudes hold women back from starting businesses?

For one, we found that women are just as likely as men to see entrepreneurship as attractive, but they are less likely to see opportunities for starting businesses. In fact, since 2002, the perceptions about entrepreneurial opportunities declined among women in developed economies.

One thing that is critical is women’s belief in their own capabilities is far lower than men’s. Less than half–47.7 percent–of women believe they are capable of starting a business, while well over half–62.1 percent–of men believe they are capable. That lack of confidence persists through all economies and cultures we studied.

Fear of failure is another stumbling block that’s more common among women than men.

Yes. Women are more likely dissuaded from entrepreneurship due to fear of failure and they tend to have smaller and less diverse support networks. They are more likely to rely on family members for support and they are less likely to know an entrepreneur. Men have larger business networks, know more entrepreneurs, and they are more likely to rely on business colleagues for help and support than on family members.

What conclusions do those results lead you to?

We think that mentoring and entrepreneurial role models can boost women’s confidence. Also, women are just as well-educated and as likely to create innovative products as men, but they have half the growth expectations for their businesses as men. So, for those female-owned businesses that do have high-growth potential, we need to get them the resources, support, training, and mentoring they need to move to that next level.

Your report reviews some government, nonprofit, and private-sector programs aimed at trying to enhance women’s entrepreneurship. What did you find?

In Ireland, we covered one initiative that is focused on growth entrepreneurs. They get a female mentor to run roundtable forums focusing on growth, where women business owners can share what they’ve learned and do group problem solving. The lead entrepreneur acts as a role model and a mentor, and it has been really successful at helping women with limited resources tap into their own creativity. More than 150 women entrepreneurs have benefited.

[Karen E. Klein is a Los Angeles-based writer who covers entrepreneurship and small-business issues.]

Mars Venus Coaching

Corporate Media Relations

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16 Steps to Write New Year’s Resolutions that Work

Monday, January 9th, 2012

Are you wondering how some people can make New Year’s Resolutions and stick with them, while other people can’t or don’t or won’t even thing about writing them out, let alone completing them. Here’s how to be successful at following-through on the new you in the new year.

  1. Start thinking about what your short term goal is for the next year.
  2. Remember or come up with your 5 and 10 year goals.
  3. When you make your New Year’s Resolutions, make sure that they relate in some way to either your short term or long term goals. The reason behind this is to link your resolution into what naturally motivates you to pursue change. This also helps you keep your resolutions high on your priority list as well.
  4. Plan out 2012. On a calendar pencil in the BIG events for the year.
  5. Pick a day where you have space and time to think, plan, and write out your resolutions. Anticipate writing out your resolutions. Make it fun and memorable. Our bodies are wired to seek pleasure.
  6. Brainstorm and jot down the things you’d like to change or do more of in the next year.
  7. Next, look at your calendar to see how much time you have each month to devote to each of your resolutions. Estimate how many hours or days per week you can work on each resolution.
  8. Plan for wiggle room. We usually have a head’s up for when there are good stressors or life events such as births, weddings, birthdays, celebrations, etc. However, illnesses, deaths, accidents, layoffs, car troubles, are usually unexpected. Give yourself time and compassion to deal with these unforeseen events.
  9. Set start and end dates for each of your resolutions. Before you commit to due dates, read through and do steps 10-13 first.
  10. Next look at how far you think you’ll get with each resolution in the next 90 days. Define what you will have to do to accomplish that resolution in the next 3 months. Write each step out. It’s okay to have 10 to 20 steps.
  11. Then looking at your calendar, define how many of those steps you can do in the next 30 days.
  12. Before you commit to what steps you’ll do in the first 30 days, check-in with your calendar to see how much time you can devote for the next 4 weeks.
  13. Set weekly due dates with 1 or 2 days to allow for the unexpected.
  14. Remind yourself of when things are due. Set up reminders in your phone, with software, or online calendars.
  15. Tell someone what you’re planning to do.
  16. Ask someone to hold you accountable to follow-through on your resolution. Someone who does not want your time themselves, who can be objective, can offer feedback, ask the hard questions, and help you brainstorm how to trouble-shoot setbacks, loss of motivation, etc. will guarantee a higher level of commitment out of you to perform and accomplish what you’d like to change.

Lyndsay Katauskas, MEd

Mars Venus Coaching

Corporate Media Relations

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5 Ways Stress Affects Your New Year’s Resolutions

Friday, January 6th, 2012

We often make New Year’s Resolutions at the stroke of midnight. We choose to improve things we’re unhappy with about ourselves. What we forget to think about is how stress affects whether or not we’ll actually follow through and stick with our resolutions for however long they’ll take to accomplish.

  1. We forget there are good (and bad) stressors that knock us off track.

Did you know there are two types of stressors: good and bad? Both cause an elevated spike in our stress-producing hormones: cortisol and adrenaline. We often forget that the good stressors can stress us out too. Even if we’re anticipating good stressors like: births, weddings, birthdays, anniversaries, holidays, parties, and other celebrations…we can still end up feeling overwhelmed or anxious about the event. Our good intentions to follow-through on our resolution to exercise, lose weight, sleep more, eat healthy, invest money, etc., often are the first things to fall by the wayside.

  1. Stress is stress.

If our bodies have excess cortisol and adrenaline, then despite our best intentions, we find ourselves going back to old habits. Why? It’s easier, it feels safe, and our energy is going towards ridding our bodies of excess cortisol and adrenaline. It takes over 90 days for new behaviors to become automatic habits. When you’re resolving to do something new or different, concerted effort must be taken to think and then act on the new behaviors. If your motivation is down, then it becomes difficult to convince and hold yourself to carrying through with your new resolutions.

  1. We ignore our bodies’ warning signals…physically.

Fatigue, headaches, indigestion, migraines, weight gain, high blood pressure, clenched jaws, tight muscles, not being able to slow down/relax, and insomnia are signs of too much stress.

  1. We ignore our bodies’ warning signals…emotionally.

Feelings of being alone, overwhelmed, unsupported, anxious, ignored, unimportant, rushed, or angry means for:

Women—we do not have enough of our stress-producing hormone, oxytocin.

Men—we do not have enough of our stress-producing hormone, testosterone.

  1. We ignore our bodies’ warning signals…mentally.

We set ourselves up for failure when we heed the negative talk in our heads.  Fogginess, confusion, and black and white/all-or-nothing thinking are signs that your brain is not working at peak capacity.

Solutions

  • When making your resolutions, plan around and anticipate that BIG life events (good stressors) will happen sometime during the year.
  • Make your resolutions have specific start and end dates.
  • Pencil in the dates on your calendar for the fun and happy events (good stressors) that you already know will occur.
  • Plan down-time into your life, so you can off-set stress and replenish your stress-reducing hormones. You need to do stress-reducing activities daily to keep stress levels low.
  • Sit down with your calendar, and write in your start and end dates for your resolutions.
  • When you do have bad stressors happen—like accidents, deaths, illnesses—re-visit and re-define your new end date for your resolutions.
  • Find someone who can keep you accountable. When you ask someone to help keep you on track—make sure they are willing to give you feedback. When you’re held accountable and have access to objective constructive criticism to what’s working and what’s not working is a great way to fireproof your resolution and ensure 100% commitment to accomplishing your goal(s).

Life happens. When we’re able to roll with the unexpected changes, then we can do things pro-actively to work with both kinds of stressors so our stress levels remain low and our motivation high. It’s when we forget to plan ahead for the contingencies that we lose motivation.

Lyndsay Katauskas, MEd

Mars Venus Coaching

Corporate Media Relations

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